Grief Counseling in Colorado Springs, CO
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tears flow and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4).
Grief is the emotional response to any type of loss. Perhaps you have lost a loved one to divorce or death, or a job, a pet, financial stability, safety after trauma, a sense of identity, or a big change in your life. of a loved one due to death or divorce, but also the loss of a job, a pet, financial stability, or safety after trauma. Feelings of grief can be overwhelming, and it can be hard to know how to manage and overcome these emotions. It is important to have patience with yourself and others during this process as it is a healthy part of healing and there is no correct timeline or process on how to grieve, as it looks different for each individual. “We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18). If you are having trouble coping on your own, or know of someone who could use extra support, a therapist can assist.
Common myths for grief:
- There is a right way to grieve
- Only loss of a loved one can cause grief
- Grief resolves after a certain period of time
- Grief follows distinct stages
- Moving on is a betrayal
Common symptoms of grief include:
- Shock and denial: Feeling numb about the event, having trouble believing it happened, denying it, or expecting to suddenly see the person you lost.
- Pain and guilt/Sadness: Regret over things unsaid or undone, feeling responsible for the death or the event, or shame from feeling relieved by a person’s passing. It is important to experience the pain fully, and not hide from it, avid it or escape from wit with maladaptive behaviors. “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4)
- Anger/Bargaining: blaming someone for injustice. This is a time to release bottled up emotions, where you may lash out or have misplaced guilt or unwarranted blame, though it is also a time to lean into surrender. “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding (Proverbs 14:29).
- Depression, Reflection, Loneliness: You may realize the true magnitude of your loss, and tend to isolate, or reflect on memories of the past. You may also feel empty, despair, yearning, or lonely. “God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalms 34:18-19)
- Fear: Feelings of anxiety, helplessness, and insecurity, or having panic attacks. “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave your nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
- Physical symptoms: fatigue, nausea, weight loss or gain, aches and pains, and insomnia.
- The Upward Turn and Reconstruction/Working Through: At some point, we begin to adjust to live with the loss, and new normals begin to take place. There is a grieving process in this, though your physical symptoms and depression may begin to lighten. You can become more functional and your mind starts working in healthy ways again with realistic solutions. “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
- Acceptance and Hope: We can learn to accept and deal with the reality of our loss. Acceptance does not always mean happiness, though we a start to look forward and plan things for the future, as well as find joy in the experiences of living. “Trust in the Lord with all your heat and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Coping with Grief and Loss
An important part of healing is knowing that you are not alone. Seek support from your friends, family, or faith, or join a bereavement support group. Sharing your loss can make the grieving process easier, as it says in Genesis 2:18, “it is not good that man should be alone”. We are made for relationships, and it is important to lean on support. Also, remember to take care of yourself; to eat, sleep, and move your body even when you’re too stressed or fatigued to do so. A healthy alternative is to seek the help of a professional therapist. A therapist can help you work through your intense emotions in a safe environment.
Through psychotherapy, a patient may:
- Improve coping skills
- Reduce feelings of blame and guilt
- Explore and process emotions
Book a consultation today for Grief and Loss with Zoe Community Counseling. Call (719) 400-9395 or book a consultation online.